Never Say Never Read online

  She sighed, patting Holly’s back in a soothing motion. Touching this baby was a wonderful experience. All the soft skin and fat-padded appendages soothed Jill whenever she held her. Joey sat in front of the tree coloring in a cartoon book, and Jill smiled. He was a good boy, another source of contentment for her. Plainly, Dustin was discovering that his son was a joy to be around, although he didn’t completely have the knack of it. Something still seemed to be holding him back from any show of pure affection when it came to his son.

  So the man was a trifle grumpy, not just with her but with everyone, except his mother. Even Marsh suffered his share of Dustin’s grouchiness. Yet the sheriff seemed willing to bear the burden, as evidenced by his continued presence.

  Maybe Dustin hadn’t always been this way. Maybe once he’d been a more easygoing man, just as she’d been a more trusting woman. The reason their set-up was operating well was that they both understood that anything more than a working relationship was absolutely out of the question.

  No matter how much help they needed from each other.

  After Joey’s nap that afternoon, Jill packed his clothes into a small suitcase. Folding a few small shirts and pants made her feel something she couldn’t remember feeling before. Oh, Holly brought her a rush of warmth whenever she held her, but as she’d tucked Joey’s miniature versions of Dustin’s clothing away, a strange daydream had overtaken her. She’d actually found herself thinking about how it would feel to always be there for Joey, to always clean and fold his clothes, and put them away.

  Startled, she’d closed the suitcase with a snap, realizing the disastrous turn her thoughts had taken. The child was starting to mean a lot to her, and uncomfortably, Jill knew she had actually dreamed for a moment about becoming his new mother.

  She couldn’t do that without involving Dustin, however, so whatever fantasies she had about loving Joey and watching him grow into a man would simply have to stay locked inside her head.

  “Are Joey’s things ready?”

  Jill jumped at the sound of Dustin’s deep voice interrupting her thoughts. She nodded, telling her heart to stop racing from the abrupt appearance of her employer. “Yes. Here’s his suitcase, and here’s his favorite bear.”

  Dustin reached out to take the things from her. Without saying a word, he walked from the room and went down the stairs.

  She knew Joey was already there, waiting and dressed in the clean outfit Jill had put on him after his nap. The child had been tuckered out after all the excitement of having company in the house for Sunday supper, and he’d looked a bit rumpled. After changing him, she’d slicked his hair—to no avail—but with every intention of making Dustin proud of his son.

  Even as he had to tell Joey goodbye.

  The doorbell rang, and Jill halted at the landing. She hovered there, feeling out of place during this odd and uncomfortable family moment. She heard a woman’s shrill voice greet Joey, then a few sentences of muffled conversation from Dustin. A moment later, the front door closed. An eerie silence descended upon the house.

  Dustin’s heavy tread at the bottom of the stairs threw Jill into action. Hurrying into her room, she closed the door, knowing that he wouldn’t want to attempt to make conversation with her right now. Eunice was in her bedroom with Holly. Jill had heard Eunice tell Dustin that she didn’t want Maxine to see the baby. Dustin would probably head straight to his mother’s room to tell her what had been said between himself and Maxine.

  “Jill.”

  Dustin’s voice outside her door surprised her. She opened it, immediately checking his expression for his mood. His face was impassive.

  “Yes, Dustin?”

  “Thanks.”

  Jill was puzzled. “For what?”

  “For packing Joey’s things for me.”

  “I…um, you’re welcome. It’s part of my job.” It was also part of her pleasure, but she couldn’t say that.

  “Would you like the evening off?”

  “Well…” She hesitated, realizing that with Joey gone, her hands would be a little emptier. She wasn’t any happier about the thought than Dustin was. Somehow, all the holiday excitement had gone right out of the house with Joey’s departure. “Maybe I’ll take Holly into town for a stroll.”

  “Mother and I can watch her tonight. You worked hard on the meal today. Why don’t you just take some time off?”

  Jill shook her head. There was no reason for her to do that. If anyone needed some time to themselves, it was Eunice and Dustin. “No, thank you, although I appreciate the offer. I’d really enjoy myself a lot more if I took Holly with me. We’ll go for a stroll around the town square and see what decorations are out.”

  Dustin shrugged. “Suit yourself. Let me know if you change your mind.”

  He walked down the hall into Eunice’s room. Their voice tones carried to Jill, though she couldn’t hear the words She could hear, however, their unhappiness. With Joey gone, there would be no laughter in the house tonight.

  Changing into a pair of jeans and a bright blue knit sweater, Jill fluffed her hair and put on some clear lipstick to keep her lips from chapping in the cold. Then she went to retrieve Holly.

  At her knock, Eunice called, “Come in.”

  Jill went in, a trifle amazed to see Dustin sitting on the vanity chair, holding a drooling Holly. Eunice sat in a stuffed chair nearby and she smiled when she saw Jill.

  “You look very nice, my dear. Rather wasted on baby Holly, I should think. Why don’t you let us keep her tonight? Or better yet, why don’t you let Dustin take you to a movie?”

  Jill’s and Dustin’s gazes met in a collision of shock. Watch a movie, in complete darkness, with a man whose son she was starting to love too much? With his father, whose fine physique and handsome face she struggled not to notice?

  Dustin was too polite to utter the shocked denial she was sure he’d like to issue. Jill shook her head, reaching to take the baby from him. “No, thank you, although it’s nice of you to offer. I’m going to change Holly into a nice outfit, and then we two wild women are going out on the town to show off our duds. Aren’t we, Miss Lady?” she murmured. Turning at the door, Jill said, “We’ll see you later, though.”

  Dustin and his mother murmured a goodbye and Jill hurried off down the hall. No, being alone with Dustin would not have been a good thing for either of them. He was miserable without his son, and she was miserable knowing it. They neither one would have a good time, especially trying to act like they were comfortable around each other.

  Jill put the satin headband on Holly that Eunice had made her, then changed the infant’s diaper before slipping a nice, warm wool dress over her head. White tights and booties completed the look. “Now, we’re ready to see the town,” Jill told the baby.

  Carefully strapping Holly into the car seat and making certain the umbrella stroller was in the trunk, Jill started off down the road. She happened to glance into her rearview mirror, and though she wasn’t completely certain, it looked like Dustin’s large form was standing in the doorway, watching them leave.

  For a moment she felt guilty, leaving the two of them alone in that big house. It was going to be awfully quiet. Probably unbearably quiet. But surely they’d spent many an evening like that, with each other for company. Eunice and Dustin would probably treasure one night without children underfoot, as well as minus the housekeeper.

  Jill drove slowly into town, enjoying the beauty of the winter countryside. Holly’s eyes followed everything that went past her vision. Obviously, she was pleased to be out of the house as much as Jill was.

  The truth was, she had needed to get away. Carl showing up this morning had upset her so badly she just needed to find some space and think. How could a man she thought loved her betray her in such a manner? How had she missed his controlling nature? Oh, certainly, some warning bells had begun sounding a few months ago, when it was clear that her feelings had begun to change. But never, never had she imagined he would sabotage her career as wel
l as her pride. At the ripe old age of twenty-six, it occurred to Jill that she might never find that man she could trust with all her soul.

  “Prince Charming was really a hallucination of some wishful writer,” she told Holly wryly. “Although,” she shot a look at the baby who was now looking in the direction of Jill’s voice, “if I didn’t know better, I’d think you had managed to entice Mr. Reed with those cute dimples and fat wrinkled arms and legs of yours.”

  Holly sneezed, and Jill laughed. “Okay. It’s your mind he’s fallen for.”

  Maneuvering the car into one of the angled parking spaces situated around the town square, Jill got out of the car. Retrieving the stroller from the trunk, she unstrapped Holly and placed her in it carefully. Locking the car, Jill wrapped Holly’s pink blanket around her, leaving only her little face peeking out.

  “There. We are a pair of wild and crazy women,” she told her cheerfully.

  After thirty minutes she’d made it around the square. Holly was intrigued by the twinkling Christmas lights, and the foil wreaths and bells adorning the street lights. But Jill worried she might start getting cold, so seeing the bakery shop at the end of their journey, she pushed the stroller inside.

  A blast of warmth and the inviting aroma of baked bread made Jill sigh with contentment. “Oh, this was the right choice, Holly. We’ll have us a little snack, and take home a loaf of bread for dinner tomorrow night,” she said, slipping the blanket away from Holly’s head so she wouldn’t be too hot inside the store.

  From the corner of the store, a shop assistant approached shyly, her gaze riveted on the baby in the stroller. Jill was proud of her charge, all dressed up and looking so pretty as she lay in the stroller. Obviously, the assistant thought so, too, as she came closer to take a look.

  The girl was probably high-school age. Not old enough to want to cuddle the infant as a grandmother might. Still, she smiled at the smitten expression on the girl’s face.

  “This is Holly,” Jill said to make conversation, “and she’s come to buy a loaf of bread from you.” She started to request some of the delicious-looking rolls sitting behind the glass as well, but the way the girl had crept close to the stroller made Jill pause. In all her life, she’d never seen anyone look so…fascinated. Holly was beautiful, but the way the girl reached out with a trembling finger to stroke the baby’s cheek melted Jill’s heart.

  “Isn’t she lovely?” she said.

  Briefly, the girl glanced up before immediately gazing back down raptly into the stroller. “Oh, I think she is.” Lightly, her fingers traced over the pink blanket, feeling the baby’s warm, fat tummy. “Could I…could I hold her?”

  Jill hesitated, but couldn’t think of any reason to deny this request. Besides, it would be good for Holly to be out of the stroller for a while. “If you’ll be extra careful,” she said, lifting the baby gently from the stroller. Handing the baby to the girl, Jill smiled at the pure happiness on her face. Holly did seem to make everyone feel that way. She herself experienced that same feeling of wonder whenever she held her.

  The girl snuggled Holly against her neck, closing her eyes for just a moment. Jill stared, thinking that she’d never seen anyone so starved for love. Maybe the girl was an only child, lacking siblings to lessen childhood loneliness.

  Dustin had grown up as an only child. Eunice had pointed out he’d been lonely for brothers and sisters to tease. And to love.

  “Thank you ever so much,” the girl said, shyly handing Holly back to Jill.

  “You’re welcome. She feels good, doesn’t she?”

  “Like heaven.”

  The girl’s voice was almost a sigh. Jill tucked Holly back in, after checking to make certain her diaper was still dry. “I want to pick up a loaf of that French bread, and maybe some of those rolls,” she said, after settling Holly.

  Anxious to please, the girl scurried back behind the counter. She put the bread and rolls into a white paper bag, taking Jill’s money and putting it into the register.

  “Thank you very much,” she said politely. Her gaze dropped to the baby again. “For everything.”

  “Thank you for the bread,” Jill said. “Goodbye.” Turning the stroller, she opened the door and pushed it out into the slowly darkening night.

  Without realizing it, she nearly pushed the stroller into a bystander. “Oh, excuse me,” Jill said, horrified that she had nearly hit the man. He stared at her without saying a word, then his gaze fastened on the baby. His perusal held just as much hungry interest as the girl’s had possessed, but there was no innocence in his eyes.

  His head was shaved and he wore a gold loop earring in one ear. When he looked back up at her, Jill was shocked by the flat coldness in his gaze. Backing the stroller up, her vision deflected from the man to the bakery store window. The shop girl was staring out at them, her mouth frozen in a shocked O.

  Alarmed, Jill realized she might have put baby Holly in grave danger. Without another thought, she jammed the stroller forward, skidding around the black-jacketed man whose wide-legged, aggressive stance took up the better part of the concrete walk. Her blood on fire with fear, Jill hurried toward her car.

  Chapter Ten

  Her movements stiff and panicked, Jill snatched her keys from her shoulder bag as she tried to walk as normally as possible toward her worn-out car. There had to be a way to get Holly into her car seat without giving that sinister-looking man a chance to grab her. The stroller could be abandoned if need be.

  Telling herself to be calm and not to overreact, Jill shuffled the bag of bread and her purse down to her wrist as she unlocked the car door. Too frightened to look up to see if she’d been followed, she tossed her things to the car floor. Swiftly, she picked Holly up and fastened her into the car seat, all the while acting as though she weren’t petrified out of her wits. Risking a quick peek, she saw that the man had gone into the bakery and was locked in confrontation with the shop girl. Jill could see her head moving back and forth in an emphatically negative response to whatever the man was asking her. He glanced toward Jill’s car, pointing purposefully. Jill grabbed the stroller and collapsed it, throwing it to the floor of the car to land on the sack of bread and her purse.

  Jumping into the front seat, she frantically checked to make certain all four doors were locked. She jammed the key into the ignition and hit the pedal, causing the car engine to roar to life. The man had come out onto the pavement and was heading toward her car. Jill gasped, threw the car into reverse as she backed out of the parking space. Praying there was no innocent pedestrian in front or behind her, she threw the gear into drive. Crushing the gas pedal, Jill sped away, peripherally aware of the man’s running form beside her car. He slapped once at the window—hard.

  “Oh, Lord!” she cried. Holly set up a wail from the backseat. Not about to slow down, Jill ignored the just-turned yellow signal at the crossing, hurtling away from what she was certain was Holly’s nightmare. The child had been entrusted to her safekeeping; not for anything would she let Eunice and Dustin down nor Holly. Her gaze kept bouncing to the rearview mirror, even though it appeared she hadn’t been followed.

  Driving at a faster pace than she normally would have, Jill held her breath until she knew she was getting close to home. Despite the early darkness of winter twilight, she could see the white, crushed rock trail leading up to Dustin’s ranch like a ghostly pointing finger. Jill’s breath finally eased from where it had lodged in her throat as she drove under the metal sign from which the R and E swung haphazardly in the night wind.

  The fear gradually lessened, though her blood still pounded in her throat. Even as she stopped the car and got out, snatching Holly from her car seat to hurry toward the porch steps, Jill was aware of the feeling of security that washed through her mind. She’d made it to the ranch, and Dustin wouldn’t let anything happen to Holly.

  Tearing through the front door with the baby clutched in her arms, Jill hurried through the entry, halting when she saw Dustin and his mother
in the parlor.

  “Jill, honey, what’s wrong?” Eunice asked.

  “I…” She glanced down at pretty little Holly in her arms, her headband now askew on the wailing face. With gentle fingers, she pulled it off the baby. “I think I stumbled across Holly’s parents,” she said.

  “What?” Dustin was instantly concerned. Eunice walked over and took the baby from Jill, cooing to her as she left the parlor. The sounds of her getting a bottle ready wafted from the kitchen.

  “Sit down and tell me what happened.”

  It was an order her stiff legs couldn’t obey. “I’m not sure. I went to buy some bread, and I let the girl hold Holly for a minute. Maybe I wasn’t thinking very clearly, but she was so hungry, Dustin, she was so hungry…”

  Jill was mortified to feel tears starting to slip down her cheeks, but she couldn’t stop them.

  “The baby was hungry so you were going to get her a loaf of bread?” he asked.

  She shook her head, realizing she was muddling the story with her rapid-fire speech. Trying to take a deep breath so she could slow down and make sense, Jill felt more tears squeezing from her eyes. The shock of what had happened was sending queasy shivers through her legs.

  “Here, it’s all right,” he said, coming to close her into big, strong arms. “Don’t cry, babe. What does this girl have to do with the baby being hungry?”

  Against Dustin’s wide, flannel-covered chest, Jill let everything pour out, every detail. “Holly wasn’t hungry. The girl, she had such longing in her eyes that I…well, I don’t suppose I acted wisely, but I could actually feel her yearning to touch the baby. I was so proud of Holly and she is quite adorable…it never occurred to me that the girl might be Holly’s mother. I let her hold the baby.”

  She turned tear-soaked eyes on Dustin. He felt the impact clear to his knees. He’d never seen cool, rational Jill, the lady who had brought a sense of calm to the ranch, act like this. Distraught, irrational, emotional were words that came to mind at this moment. But the Jill he knew wasn’t an irrational person. This had upset her greatly. He glanced down and saw her bottom lip tremble slightly, and resisted the urge to make her feel better by kissing her.