Man of Honor, A Page 8

  did not let himself be deterred. When he'd destroyed the small house, he hacked up the trunk into nice-size logs he could split later with an ax. It took about thirty minutes to undo all his father's hard work and rip apart his boyhood haunt. Switching off the saw, he pushed the goggles up onto his forehead, surveying his handiwork with grim satisfaction.

  The sound of a sniffle made him remember Tessa. She was wiping her nose on her coat sleeve, her eyes streaming with tears.

  Instantly, he put the saw on top of a big log and went to wrap her in his arms.

  "You destroyed it! Why, Cord? You loved it so much."

  He shook his head. "I had to."

  She leaned back to look up at him.

  "But why? Why won't you tell me?"

  Gazing down into her eyes, he felt himself as lost as ever when he was around her. He'd always loved her, but loved his brother and her too much to do anything more than pine for a woman he couldn't have. Guilt ate at him for endangering her, this woman to whom he would give everything he had if he could.

  "It was dead," he murmured. "It died last summer."

  She was sniffly and teary because she felt sorry for him, but she had no idea that the tree house he could no longer have was nothing compared to not being able to have the woman he loved. But he loved her all the more for being upset for him.

  "Don't cry. And this time, I want you to do what I tell you."

  Touching the tip of her straight little nose, he moved his finger to wipe away her tears.

  "If you had gone inside as I asked you to, you wouldn't have seen this."

  "You wouldn't take me to see the tree house when I asked you to. If I hadn't followed you, I never would have seen something that meant so much to you."

  Her eyes begged him to tell her why, the why of so many questions he couldn't answer right now. Instead, he lowered his head, brushing his lips against hers for the slightest second before drawing away.

  She stared at him, stunned. "Why? Why did you do that?"

  He closed his eyes, unable to tell her. He couldn't answer that question any better than the other questions with an answer that would make sense. Slowly releasing her from his arms. Cord let her go. He picked up the saw, looked over the rubble one last time, then walked

  away.

  Tessa stared at Cord's broad back. Why had he kissed her?

  She was astonished by all his actions since she'd returned from visiting Hester in the hospital, but this surprised her the most.

  Though it had been only for an instant, it hadn't felt like a brotherly kiss, a kiss of comfort.

  Cord's kiss had been a brush with the forbidden. She touched her fingers to her mouth, still dazed. Most astonishing was how much she had loved his kissing her.

  She, who should be faithful to the father of her child, at least until the child of their union had been born. She could not allow herself to start falling for Cord Greer.

  Whatever it took, with every ounce of her being, she would make certain it didn't happen.

  When she walked in the front door, she could hear Cord moving around the kitchen. After closing the door, she went to join him in there.

  "I meant to ask you if Hester was all right." He glanced up from washing his hands and forearms in the sink.

  As if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. As if he hadn't destroyed something precious in the woods, as if he hadn't crossed the unspoken boundary between them.

  "She's fine," Tessa answered carefully. "The doctors think she just fainted and that nothing else was wrong although they ran some tests on her anyway. Then I took her home in

  Nan's car."

  "You did?" Cord's brows rose.

  "Yes, though she protested vehemently. She wanted to call a cab, but that was silly." Tessa glanced away from Cord's deep granite eyes, feeling uncomfortable talking about her mother when it suddenly seemed like a side issue to a much larger one.

  "I don't understand what her problem is." He dried his hands using a faded blue dish towel that had seen many years of service. I never have. I always thought she should be proud of you, Tessa. "

  "She's not proud of me right now." Tessa avoided his gaze as long as she could, but he was watching her, and it seemed better to face him as she spoke the humiliating truth.

  "She'd heard I was working for Nan and came into the salon to let me know I wasn't doing my daughterly duty by working for her rival." She shrugged, but the movement was perplexed rather than uncaring.

  "Then she saw my stomach. And fainted."

  A grin sneaked up on Cord's face. Tessa stared at him, seeing nothing funny in the matter, but also realizing that she found a sweaty, saw dusted Cord just as handsome and appealing as when he was cleaned up.

  But I shouldn 't find him attractive, not as much as I do.

  "Why does that make you smile?" she demanded.

  "I'm sorry. I shouldn't, I guess. But it just seems so... like Hester somehow, to faint and make a grand spectacle of herself. She always did like being center stage."

  Tessa frowned at him.

  "Her fainting wasn't an act, Cord. She is deeply ashamed of me."

  "I'm sure it wasn't an act," he said on an impatient exhalation. "But there's so much drama in her head, Tessa, that it's just like her to strip a gear over something as natural as childbearing. Women have been having babies for hundreds of years, and you won't be the first to do it without the natural father around."

  She felt herself pale.

  "You sound like you know that for a fact."

  He looked at her, his face a careful blank, but she sensed him backing up, assessing what he'd said. Unflinching, she returned his stare. If he thought she was like her mother, incapable of handling harsh reality, he was mistaken.

  "I want you to tell me what the hell is going on. It's clear you know more than you're letting on, and it affects me, so damn it, tell me."

  The puppy came and sat on her foot, whimpering to let her know she was there, but for once Tessa ignored her, waiting.

  "Okay. You should know." He studied her, his mouth a straight, unhappy line under suddenly grim eyes. Glancing around the kitchen as if he was suddenly on alert, he approached Tessa, standing so close she could feel the heat of his exerted body. He took her wrist in his hand, squeezing it gently as he softly said in her ear, "Hunt was here

  for a few hours."

  "Oh, thank God," she said, the spoken gratitude a whisper. He was all right. Alive, not dead. Her baby had a living father.

  Cord's hand on her wrist tightened.

  "He's going into witness protection."

  Tessa's eyes flared wide. She couldn't reply until she caught her breath. "That's good, right?"

  "It's what he wants. But it is a necessary precaution."

  Prickles ran along her skin. Cord stood next to her so he could speak to her quietly, but Tessa became uncomfortably aware of how much she liked his height, his build, his strong leg against hers.

  "Are you afraid the house is bugged?"

  "At this point, I think it's best for us to proceed cautiously." He measured how she was coping before he spoke again. "The tree house was being used as a stakeout, I believe. If they can be right under my nose without my knowing it, how do I know they haven't been in the house?"

  Tessa gasped, unable to help herself. His hand tightened on her wrist, and suddenly she knew he was afraid she'd faint.

  She snatched her hand from his grip.

  "I am not my mother," she stated firmly.

  "I knew what I was doing when I loved Hunt and I accepted the risks involved. I'm not a dainty heroine who faints at the first sign of trouble. Cord, and don't treat me like a china doll just because I'm pregnant. I can take care of myself. " Her chin went up defiantly.

  "I know that. Hunt loved you because you were strong and carefree and could take the challenges."

  Her eyes widened. "Did he say that?"

  "Not in so many words, but yes."

  She didn't know how she fel
t about that. It should make her happy. But to hear Cord speaking of his brother loving her left a gap inside her somehow, a feeling that she wanted to hear how he felt instead.

  This new longing startled Tessa.

  Best she focus on the problem at hand rather than the unwilling pull to Cord.

  "Did you tell him about the baby?"

  He hesitated, and Tessa held her breath.

  "No," he said simply.

  She nodded once. His expression showed his worry that he'd done the wrong thing, that she might be upset.

  "Thank you."

  Surprise lit his eyes.

  "I was hesitant about what you would want me to say."

  "You did the right thing. We both love Hunt, and neither of us wants him in danger. As you said, women have been bearing children without the father's presence for centuries. I would never want Hunt to think of me as an obligation. And I would never, ever want him in jeopardy because of me." She felt stronger as she said the words, knowing this much she'd spoken was true.

  "I've made my peace with my situation where Hunt is concerned." But her heart was breaking for the sake of her child who would never know a father's love. The distress might not have been so great if she'd had a father around. But it had just been her and Hester, who

  was barely capable of being a mother, let alone doing the emotional parenting of two. Had there been a balance, another family member to act as counterweight to Hester's careful rationing of love, Tessa's life might have been very different. Less empty.

  But that was the past, and as she'd stated to Cord, she was not her mother. She did not flinch from life's difficulties.

  "Did you destroy the tree house to keep them from using it?"

  "Yes. Though oddly enough, I found myself saying goodbye to my brother by doing what I had to do. I'm angry that those men spied on us. I'm mad as hell that they were trying to get to you." He shrugged big shoulders. "I'm angry and I'll want to kill them if I ever get my hands on them, but... like you, I refuse to be used as a pawn."

  His lips tightened. Tessa saw the pain he suffered in spite of his strong words. Her heart twisted for him. "Where do you think they are now?"

  "I don't know. Maybe they've gone, but I doubt it. You'll have to be extra cautious from now on."

  "And you," she warned. "Whatever it is that they want from Hunt, they might just as well

  decide to use you to flush him out as me."

  "You're pregnant with Hunt's child."

  They were speaking in hushed tones, but Tessa reached over and turned on the water, switching on the disposal so the noise would cover their conversation.

  "They don't know that."

  He frowned.

  "Anybody with one eye can see that you're expecting."

  "You see me without my coat. They haven't, unless they've been in the house."

  He stepped back, his gaze roaming over her body from head to toe.

  "Even without the coat, the baggy sweaters do a good job of concealing."

  "And I'll be certain I don't go outside without my coat."

  Tessa crossed her arms, surprised by how much Cord's gaze on her sent flutters to her stomach.

  "I refuse to be used as bait. And I won't let them use me to get to Hunt. You just watch your back and I'll watch mine."

  Admiration flashed in his eyes.

  "Deal."

  She took a deep breath.

  "Okay. Now I'm going back to my own house."

  Chapter Nine

  Cord knew he shouldn't have kissed Tessa. It was in the stiffness of her posture and the resolve in her eyes.

  Everything had changed - because he had opened a door that she wanted kept firmly closed.

  He had trespassed.

  "Tessa"

  She held up a hand. "There's no need for me to stay, Cord. Hunt is off to wherever. The people who are after him are on your property. I'm safer in my house than here. "

  Because of him. He heard the unspoken words and knew it to be true.

  Everything she said was indisputable.

  "I'd feel better"

  "I know. But it's illogical and it goes against my grain." Her expression softened as she tried to make him understand. "You shouldn't have to be my bodyguard."

  "You have someone else in mind?"

  Quick irritation glowed in her eyes.

  "To be honest, I don't think it's any of your concern."

  That was news to him.

  "How can you say that? My brother"

  "Hunt and I are over." She made a slashing motion with her hand. "Finished and done. Your obligation has been met."

  "I don't think he'd feel that way if he knew you were having his baby."

  "It's my baby. Mine." Her eyes flashed with determination. "Just like you can't live in the past, neither can I."

  "And I represent the past?" He wanted badly to represent her future, a future together, as impossible as he knew it to be.

  "Yes," she said softly, "you represent the past. Girlish dreams of a man's brother I loved but knew I couldn't have. I can't go from Hunt to you. Cord, as if I'm afraid to stand on my own

  two feet. "

  He clenched his jaw as he studied her.

  "The protection issue is separate from the issue of" he gestured as he groped for the right words "- going from Hunt to me," he finished.

  "I think it's all wrapped up together. You may tell yourself you're doing this for Hunt, but I don't think you kissed me for your brother."

  Her face heightened with color. He shifted uncomfortably as they stared at each other. No denial came to him.

  "Maybe it is one and the same at some point," he agreed. "I'd look after you any way I could because Hunt cares about you." He hesitated before deciding to be completely honest.

  "I'd protect any woman or man or animal if I thought they needed help. But I can't deny that I want you here for safekeeping, and I want you here because I like your being here." His chest pounded with the force of his thundering heart, but he made himself say what needed to be said. "I wouldn't want to be the consolation prize because you couldn't have Hunt, but I'm also not asking you to stay out of a sense of duty to him."

  Tessa's lashes lowered for just a split second before her clear blue eyes met his full force.

  "I think you can understand that I'm not ready for anything more meaningful than friendship with any man."

  He sure as hell didn't want to hear about other men. But he couldn't tell her that he wished she wouldn't lump him in with men in general.

  To expect that he should have the inside edge because he was Hunt's brother - or maybe because he'd been in love with her for so long – was impractical.

  Tessa wasn't about to think of him as having a jump start on other contenders for her heart because she refused to think of herself as a prize.

  She was right. Love existed between two people who wanted and respected each other. He wasn't going to talk her into a relationship just because he wanted it to be so. If she didn't feel the way he did, that wasn't entirely unexpected.

  There were many reasons why she wouldn't, and the biggest one was Hunt.

  For both of them, his brother would always be squarely in the middle.

  While a part of him wanted Tessa, that was purely protective instinct. The other half of him loved her and wanted her for himself - except that it would feel like stealing from his brother.

  He reached around her, switching off the disposal as he said softly, "I'd like to give you the protection of my name and my resources, for the sake of the baby if nothing else."

  Her breath drew in, a sharp hiss that parted her lips.

  "Are you suggesting we stick together permanently - as in get married?"

  "It would be legal and binding, Tessa, so that you and your child would always be provided for should something happen to me. This ranch is half Hunt's. He just never wanted it and he's never coming back."

  God, he hated saying that. He would give his right arm if it wasn't
so. But there was no changing the reality of the situation facing them.

  "Hunt's child should be provided for, both financially and otherwise. I am willing to..." He hesitated, knowing he had to choose his words carefully so he wouldn't offend her. "I would like to be a large part of the child's life. I like to think I'd make a good stand-in

  father."

  "Oh, Cord," Tessa said softly, her kind, apologetic tone melting his hope that she'd say yes.

  There had never really been any hope.

  "Here. I want to give you this since it's Valentine's. Well, you should have it anyway, but Valentine's made me think of..." Giving you something. Damn it. He couldn't say that. So he fell back on another underlying truth.

  "I think Hunt would have approved of your having it." Wariness shadowed her eyes, an unwillingness to let him get close to her. He understood.

  "It's something my father had made for our mother. I should have given it to you sooner today, but... it's been kinda busy around here."

  He handed her a small box, surprised by how nervous he was.

  Slowly, Tessa opened the lid. Inside lay an engraved heart-shaped locket, the engraving lit with pave diamonds.

  '"Greer," she read softly, opening the heart to reveal a baby's picture on each side. Hunt and Cord. A birth date for each child was etched below in tiny numerals.

  "Oh, my goodness," she murmured. "This means so much to me."

  Running a hand roughly through his hair. Cord hung on to the honest emotion in Tessa's eyes.

  "I know it might be an unusual gift, but it was our mother's and ...she'd want you to have it. You're carrying the next Greer generation."

  And maybe the only heir to our family name and the ranch.

  He turned away, unable to say anything else for the catch in his throat. She touched his arm, and he forced himself to look at her.

  "Thank you," she said. "Please put it on for me."

  She still held Ellie, so taking the delicate golden chain from her, he clasped it around her neck, warning himself to be as quick as possible.

  She smelled too good, felt too wonderful - and he hurt too much to keep standing so close to the fire. "There."

  She fiddled with the fine links, her fingers on them but her gaze on him. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her.